Back in 2006, I had never even contemplated going on a safari holiday. Well I thought I might one day but, unlike other people, I didn't have a list of things I had to do in my life. And I still don't! My boyfriend at the time had it on his list and very specifically where and why! The Ngorogoro Crater and Rwanda to see the gorillas. Sadly (for him) there wasn't a luxury version of this trip so it was the “rough it” safari! LOL. He invited me to go. I thought he was offering to pay for me to go so I said yes. He then asked "can you afford it?" Haha!!! Well I could hardly say "no, I thought you were going to pay for me". He was a highly paid director and I was a part time something or other in the NHS! So I had to make a decision there and then. Not my comfort zone as I normally think a lot about decisions that require a lot of money. However, this invitation made this boyfriend a lot more exciting than he had previously seemed. There were lots of logistics with my young daughter to sort out but, I quickly decided that it was worth doing, because I may not get another chance to do this.
So £3000 later and lots of new clothes, off we went. Normally I would not spend any kind of money like that on a holiday. This was an occasion when I "got out of my own way". Instead of sticking to the usual "oh that is too expensive for me" and "how would I arrange things with my daughter?" You see, my desire to not let him go on a big holiday and celebrate his 50th birthday without me was also a reason to go!!! So, I was out of my comfort zone, but I did it! Since then, I have stopped "stopping myself" and give myself the opportunity to do new things that I hadn't thought of. Life is more exciting now than ever before. Despite losing half my pension due to leaving early, I have a life! Getting out of your own way can be the making of you, in the true sense of you. Do you have purpose and passion in what you are doing? Do you get excited waking up and getting out there each day? It's great if you can potter along enjoying life, but for some, this can get boring as you are constantly in your comfort zone. Comfort zones are safe but not so great for the creative and adventurous people among us.
Some people fear being bored in retirement (or justin life) - what's the point? What will I do? I may as well stay at work as at least I'll feel like I'm contributing something....."Interwoven Productions" have a splendid way to give you purpose and find your passion for the local community. http://www.interwovenproductions.com/ Why not have a look at what they do and see if it would interest you. It can be done anywhere in the world. I spoke to Jo, the founder, today and she is keen for anyone who feels the passion to go for it and get in touch. There are levels of participation so you can choose how much you do. It is a very exciting project that gets communities talking and working together. What's not to like? Are you feeling the passion? If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat. This was the title of a book I read about 15 years ago and it stuck with me. We float along in our safe boats but sometimes the boat starts to rock and we hang on to avoid getting sea sick, or it gets too crowded and we need more space, or the space in the boat becomes restrictive and we need to spread/move out. This happened to me in my last few years in the NHS and I stepped out of the boat to start my own business. This was a huge leap of faith, but faith in myself and nobody else. I took control and I did it. It didn't turn out as I planned but I am still moving in my own time, with my own rules, in my own space and never look back. It was the right move. If you are stuck wondering whether to take that leap of faith in yourself, the only person stopping you maybe, is you? Whether it be a new product line, a new colleague, expanding into a new area etc...........make your future work for you! Are you going to be a grumpy OAP?
A good few years ago, I ran pre-retirement courses at the local hospital and I used to ask, what do you want to do when you retire? One man answered "be the grumpy old man in the supermarket"! This caused a few giggles and we did change his mind by the end of the day (if we believed him!) but lots of people are afraid to retire. What are your thoughts? Have you got it all planned out? An idea would be to look at your goal for retirement. What is it? What kind of a life do you want? Is it realistic? Do you have enough money to live a life like that or do you intend to continue working anyway? What are your options to get there? Have you thought about alternatives? How much do you want it? How important is it for you to have that specific life? How flexible are you? Will you choose to be grumpy or make your future work for you? Your choice! If you'd like to talk it though with me,please send a message using the contact page. Thinking about retirement can cause people a lot of angst and they can ignore it until it is too late. Retirement doesn't need to be an issue and you don't even need to retire.
Make your future work for you........ I'm looking for your thoughts on retirement and your preparation around it. Here's a quick 10 question survey for you to complete. The questions may give you some ideas too! Thank you! https://lnkd.in/dtcFVs8 #stayingpositive #healthymindset #retirement #retirementplanning #mentalhealth #thefutureisbright #healthylifetstyle #positivechange This is what I have missed during the pandemic. I started Argentine Tango 5 years ago and became very attached! Literally! Nothing I did was more important to me. This made me realise that if you are truly passionate about something, you can do it.
Since before lockdown there has been no dancing. Dancing is my life but I am coping. I am enjoying life atm as I'm finding other smaller passions to keep me going and staying connected with people. I've done a few online challenges on Facebook which keep me inspired and connected and have learned some very useful stuff . Interestingly the tango connections have faltered a little, as the physical dancing connection is the most precious and important part of the tango community. We are all yearning to get back to it asap. I know we will dance and reconnect again and I know this is a period of time that we can't get back. Despite that, today I am content and I look forward to more good times ahead. #healthymindset #stayingpositive #thefutureisbright #argentinetangomindfulness. Time is a limited resource for all of us. Once it has gone there is no getting it back. As we get older, time becomes more precious so we want to spend it on things we want to do, with people we want to spend it with, rather than waste it. There is a lot of talk about “waste” these days and time is the most precious thing that people “throw away” and lose. So make your time work for you!
The word “retirement” suggests “more time to do what you want”. Is this how you see it or does “more time” scare you? If you are busy at work and are worried about the sudden loss of activities to fill your time, you may be worried that your mental health and brain power/cognitive health may reduce? If you love your work and don’t really want to give it up, this can also cause concerns about time. It’s definitely worth thinking about this before you let work go. If you have a schedule that you follow for work and your time is guided by it, you may like to do a similar schedule for when you stop work. Noooo! You may think you want to get rid of all that pressure but think a bit more about it…...if you are used to a schedule and suddenly you have nothing planned, that can be very disheartening (I know!). It may feel good for a couple of weeks, like a holiday (definitely get one of those planned in!) but long term it can drag, you end up filling your time with reading about other people’s lives on Facebook or other social media. That makes it worse! I’m one of those people who is nearly always available for friends to call round or chat, which is great for them but doesn’t always work the other way around. You may be thinking, this isn’t me - great!!! You need read no further! But if you do wonder what you will do, I read this in a book called “Indistractable” by Niy Eyal. He says to make a timebox calendar. This is a method where you book out every minute of your day so that you cannot get distracted by anything else. Eg 7-7.30 wake and shower, 7.30-8 breakfast, 8-10 walk etc etc. Clearly you need to be focussed on what you are doing in the time slots! This may be good to start you off making sure you spend the time you have doing what you want rather than revolving it around other people’s agendas. You may be thinking “no, I want some free time” and I feel the same. It is also important to have “nothing” time. (seehttps://www.sclhealth.org/blog/2020/02/the-actual-health-benefits-of-doing-nothing/?fbclid=IwAR1TRkeE4W5CcN74_7tDZtv_b5b2L26Rj79_X-BhlpslICe_pUvGEFQNI7k#. You can time slot that in too!!!! Time is also a question of priorities and setting new boundaries. At work you may be a manager who is at everyone else’s beck and call and you want this to be different in retirement. The timebox method will help train people around you to know your new boundaries regarding time and give you a chance to work out how you want to spend your time. I find my “creative/imagination” time comes when I’m doing other things, e.g. walking/talking to other people/reading so it can be hard to stay focussed, while at the same time allowing your creativity to flow. So the timeboxes can merge a bit at times like these. Regarding the “brain power/cognitive health” issue, you can “timebox” some learning activities, sudoku or crosswords etc or join a debating group, learn something new and make sure you set time for this. Some of your activities may involve other people (hopefully!) so you can still prioritise social activities, so long as that is what you want! One thing Niy suggested is something I had already done for myself. I took the Facebook App off my phone. This meant that I am not distracted by notifications and choose when I read it. I use it for work and sharing my retirement gems and keeping up with friends but I was letting it take over and it hurt my head! So now I look at it once or twice a day maximum. Previously, I have turned off notifications for emails,Facebook Messenger, Whatsapp and Instagram. I had decided that I didn’t want my time to be interrupted by people “butting in on my life”. So all I receive are text messages (which can still be a pain and get turned to silent sometimes!) and phone calls. Thishas really had a positive impact on my self esteem. You may think “why self esteem”? It is because I am prioritising “me”. Self care is paramount and this has made me accept when other people prioritise themselves (not avoiding me or being selfish!) and also has reminded me who is most important in my life.It is not always the people who contact you all the time! It is all in your power! At times in life you wonder, why do I bother? Why get up and go out, why life, why me? These things can stagnate you and stop you from living. I feel like that when I get bad news about dear friends or family losing their life young. Even when someone has lived a good full life, we can ask the questions, why does all this happen? I know that some turn to religion of any kind to answer this question and I have been there too. But the honest truth of it is that I don't know and I am not convinced anyone else "knows". I had an experience which I believed was a "born again" experience in 1999. I lived with the church for 7 years but gradually started questionning more. The long and short of it is - we don't know! Those people who claim to have died and come alive again and have "seen a light" etc, have their own experience but that is their's. We each have our own experience and lives and who's to say our experience will be the same? We do not know.
So, let's be the best we can and be kind and take care of ourselves as best we can. Let's not inflict our theories on life or politics on others, unless it is in constructive debate. Why do I say all this? I am continually questioning what I do and looking at new ways of living and improving parts of my life that may need it - hence the DIY jobs left as I always find a priority that beats them! Even if it is someone else's house. I prefer DIY with company, has to be said! So yesterday, I went for a walk in search of bluebells on my own as I had some very sad news about a friend recently and potentially another one. Hound Tor is a well beaten area of the moor so it was easy to follow the paths, a lovely walk and the sun did come out. I thought about life and why, but the main decision I came to is that, "live is life" (There was a great song in the 80s called Live is Life which I love... https://youtu.be/rQSmfR1_SVE ) We all feel the power of life until we die so use the power you have and live it to the full. If you feel like staying in and resting then do it - if you feel like company, find some, if you want to cry, then cry! This song really cheered me up when I was lonely in Brussels years ago, despite a lovely team I worked with, so why not have a listen. Death comes to all of us so make the most of every day you are alive! Right now for some nice pictures of Dartmoor for you. ,May is for bluebells - they come out early on the lower pastures and later on the moor. A few walks are planned for this month, including Haytor bluebells - actually they are at Holwel Lawn and Emsworthy but near Haytor anyway! I am always so happy to see the original English bluebells with their delicate flowers and leaves, dropping to one side as though they are looking at the ground below.
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KatieMake your future work for you. If you are looking for dynamic change in your life, send me a message via the contact form and we can talk through strategies to get your started! Archives
September 2020
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